of 2013

true and sincere

I would rather be the one I am, 

live the way I want, 

not neglecting others though, 

but being true and sincere to my very own emotions and feelings.

of the precious girls

Did I ever shared here about the precious girls I have this year?

The ones who I see so often every weekend, almost without fail.

The ones who love crashing my house

The ones I enjoy mingling with

The ones I never get bored with

The ones that I voice out about dissatisfaction

The ones who I can just do anything with them

Well, basically, they're the ones that brighten up my life this year.

ily.

Miss C.

Got her a very special gift this year, I love that too! :)

She is sometimes very fierce (lost of adjectives) 

Really get on to my nerves sometimes

But still it wouldn't last longer than a day

She has her very own character that attracts people
I love the way she analyses things, staying calm
While I'm fed up to get a job done, she's there, always
And, things she say are convincing in a way

Miss X.
The one who has the same name as me.
We always thought that someone's calling us when going to each others house
The one that you'll love to couch on her
She'll not fail to ask what's happening when you're down
Always there to cheer me up
She's the basketball player I love

Miss M.
Someone that's fragile I would said
Wanting to be strong though always drown by problems and struggles
I always prefer seeing her smile, the sincere ones
Always looking forward to check out her braces string colour after her every checkup
She loves colour pen by the way
She never runs out of 'em

Miss M.
I would say, she really loves to sleep
Like, REALLY!
She seldom hang out with us but still the bonding is there
I love telling her stuff occasionally
She's pretty
I enjoy encouraging her to study
She can really laugh! :p

The precious girls I've met, the gift from heaven. 

There's so much about them that I couldn't put it into words.

They're just so loving :)

yes, it is

Appreciate everything in life.

We often regret of the past, but are we taking action to repair or moving forward?

No doubts, life is tough, at times.

But there are beautiful moments.

Learning to think positively.

Learning to love myself.

Knowing that I am loved by people around me.

Past those insecurities and dependency.

Yes, Life is Beautiful

I do not want to regret

Not living my life to the fullest

End of Another Chapter

Seven years of secondary and pre-u life in SMK Kepong Baru.

Officially ended the chapter in this school.

I would say that I kind of love this school.

Therefore, I always agree when Mr.Leong says '99% of you loves the school'

Because we do not like when people talk bad about our school.

It's the place where I see the school hall being built

It's the place where I see the two summer house being demolished

It's the place where I see the two four-story building being built

It's the place where I see so many infrastructure being added and renovation done.

It's the place where I learnt my leadership (secretary and president post)

It's the place where I started to speak in front of a big crowd (assembly public speaking)

It's the place where I learnt to deal with other people and authorities (editorial board)

There's so much things I learnt in this school.

So many stories to tell from form one till upper six

Different people I meet every year. Awesome people there are.

Spent so much time in this school.

Some memorable things are:

being a prefect for form one and form two

helping out in the canopy decoration for sports day

staying back in school walking around

chit chatting with friends in  the school compound (pondok, canteen, pathway)

carnival days

Mayday Saviour Concert

camp in school (form 3)

CF (a very important part in my secondary life)

bringing barang larangan to school

those heart-attack spot checks

being a class monitor in lower-six

the every-thursday tomyam day

finding out teacher's life

*etc*

I have left a very memorable memory in this place

I seriously enjoyed this chapter of my life

This part if my life where I will always remember

Where I will look back often.

Where I grown so much

To what I am now.

Many people that also left an impact in my life, I will not forget.

To maintain a friendship, it takes an extra effort.

I will.

it's officially over

STPM is over.

Yes, it's over.

I repeat, STPM is over!

STPM is over 

STPM is over

STPM IS OVERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

rawr! 

of blessings untold

Blessings from God:

wonderful loving classmates this year

trials that made me stronger

good health

strength to carry on in studies

more and more and more

living in a pressure cooker

I feel like I'm living in a pressure cooker

Being compressed, compressed and compressed

I still am breathing, gasping for air.

Teared multiple times over this.

I know the only thing I can do now is to hold on to this

I can no longer step back, but only move forward

This is tough

STPM is no joke

Pressure by people around

Pressure build on my past results

Pressure by myself

Expectations definitely

Expectations of my own capability

Fear.

What if I cannot meet even my own expectations?

What if I already put in my very best and cannot perform?

What if I disappoint those that had hope on me?

Couldn't think much further.

The only thing I can do is to rest in God

To surrender everything.

The anxiety. The fear. The worries.

Rest. 

Lately,

loving the stillness of the lake

and I can sit there doing nothing

for a long period of time.

of the recent

it's not that I failed really bad this time

comparing with other people I might consider scoring rather well

but that's definitely not the end.

I do not like comparing withe others although that are sometimes our benchmark,

but I really want to score well. REALLY.

Yes, 4 flat is definitely a dream to me ever since the day I stepped into the life of Form Six

Been emphasizing it again and again

nevertheless, there is still a tinge in me that hope to achieve this dream

questioned myself before, 

what's my motive behind it?

pride? scholarships?

it's just my heart's desire to score with flying colours.

I admit, this round of trials I did not put in my very best.

not good in managing my time

not coping very well

that ended me up with this result

she was right,

I have the capability to do better but did not maximize my capability

I have to work hard, manage my time well.

TV

Relax

Shopping

Too much sleep

Hanging out with friends

Outings 

Much discipline needed

currentsituation

a change

It's time to CHANGE!

thought of the day

lake walk

that night, I wasn't alone. 
she was with me, togeher
we walked the lake, stopped somewhere
we shared, we talked, we smiled
I enjoyed

decided to walk the lake

whenever I'm overbored

whenever I'm emotional

whenever I'm tired

whenever I need stillness

whenever I need calmness

loving the wind, the breeze, the chill

an overview of 20120823

to sum up my day

Morning: the girls insisted to have breakfast with me *was happy*

Afternoon: went shopping spree with mummy and sista, bought myself some stuff *pretty satisfied*

Evening: went to fetch my girls back to my home for time to past and rest

Night: a dinner with le classmates and went for snowflakes.

Had an awesome day without studying, spent a wonderful time with my family, girls and friends.

I'm a  happy girl ;)
happy birthday, to my girl <3

adios

Just got to know that someone around is leaving.
AGAIN.
to pursue in studies.

Shouldn't I feel something?
Shouldn't I feel something?
It's not the first time either.
Guess it happens for a few times
Till I doesn't hurt anymore.
That I'm used to it already.
NUMB.

Three years back,
I start to learn.
To be strong.
To not be too emotional when people around leave.
It's either they'll be back, or a goodbye.

a shift of mind

That's what I'm learning.

Not that I don't care anymore

But, by letting go

I'm able to see things from different perspective

To be true to my own self and feelings. 

:)

bright side

looking out the window

searching for a brighter side

hoping everything will go on well

life will be better each day

different people

Everyone is different.

Different personalities.

Different characters.

Different physically. 

(no one has the same thumb print!)

Different emotionally.

Different voice.

Different and SPECIAL in their every own way.

Leadership

Being a leader is ain't easy, AT ALL

I've always wanted to be a leader, whether a formal or informal one

Always learning to be better

And it is not only about the leadership skills you have.

One thing I feel very true said by one of my senior 5 years back in a prefects session

Was that he said, being a prefect, one thing you may have to sacrifice is friendship.

It may not be entirely the same situation this round

But I realise, working along with dear friends is not easy.

It may be fun, there are pro and cons too.

Especially when you're in authority  them and they do not listen to your command

And just like to push back all the responsibilities back to you.

It's just helpless.

Sigh

It really takes a lot of experience to be a leader.

I would say, in all these years, I've learnt a lot

More than words can say. SERIOUSLY

Communication skills.

Administrative works.

Responsibilities.

Accountability.

Commitment.

Punctuality.

Respect.

Tolerant.

Humble.

...

“Everyone is a leader because everyone influences someone.”

those days

Childhood friend

One which means so much

One who's always there

One who always appear in my those days' memories

One whom I'll never give up on

One whom I can depend on

One whom I appreciate

One whom I don't mind being troubled by

One whom I'll think about sometimes

One whom I'm comfortable to share with

One whom I can trust

One whom I want to treasure.

more than a bestie

Life

Life

something 

fragile,

unpredictable,

exciting,

spontaneous.

Life, means so much to everyone has a different perspective on it.

Recently, heard a news about my friend's friend passed away in a accident.

It was all so sudden!

In a glimpse.

In a second.

In a moment.

It's over.

I was kind of shaken by this and made me think and reflect upon myself.

What if one day, someone around/close to me just went off like that *touch wood* or even myself

Will I regret for not appreciating those last moments?

Will I regret for not forgiving them?

Will I miss them?

Will I forget them?

Will I want to do something?

I've been thinking.

I want to appreciate every moment of my life. 

Though there will be ups and downs, but learn to be more optimistic and cheerful.

Live as if it's the last day of life.

I want to live to make an impact in people's life

I want to live to remember and cherish every moment I have

I want to live the way I want to

I want to live my dreams

I want to live with my mission and purpose of life fulfilled.

I want to live with faith

I want to live a life God has planned for me.

Life, there's only one

Live to minimize regrets.

Last week during the March school holidays, I went China for a vacation. I'll leave the pictures for another post.

I want to blog about this before I forget and while it's still fresh and inspiring to me.

China is seriously a BIG country. REALLY BIG!

Been travelling around for hours there and even a lake can be 4 times of Singapore.

Seeing those 18450353 years old trees, the HUGE  lake, mountains 

I'm so amazed by God's creation. He's creative creation, wonderful, beautiful creation.

There was also a show about a flood, it was so real, water rushing down from the man-made mountain.

If this 'small' flood is so devastating and scary, I couldn't imagine the impact of rain and flood during Noah's time.

How powerful is my God.

Gotong Royong

I only joined the school's gotong-royong on the 7th year in secondary school

All of a sudden have the enthusiasm to join all these school events

Am I one of those who love the school? Yes, I do! :)

I was involved in cleaning the class and also the flying squad of Pre-U Council

I helped cleaning the oh-so-dirty study tables and painted those doors with 'defect'

The sense of satisfaction after cleaning so much, feels sticky, but then come to think about the clean study table. It's all worth it

One of the pics taken

After the gotong royong, some of us went for lunch at Little Break Cafe (my new hangout spot)

It was to celebrate Shi Yien's Birthday :)

                                                                                                                                       

7 years in Secondary School

Have to really bid a goodbye this year, officially graduating

No more extending anymore

I would say, the seven years were not a short period of time

Many stories, events, incident took place here

Many friendships were build here

Inspiration comes.

For the past seven years,

I go to school about 9 months a year

I go to school 5 days a week

I go to school for at least 6 hours a day

A place I will never forget

2006-2012

the birds

During assembly this morning, suddenly a flight of birds, flying in the symmetric V-shaped flight formation passed by. Though it was not exactly a perfect V, but it can be seen clearly the birds are flying in many of these 'V's! I was amazed by the way they travel.

It is said that the V formation helps the birds in their efficiency during flying where they are actually helping each other by supporting each other.

After those flight of birds passed by, I then saw another bird that flew alone, and went to the other direction compared to the previous flight, as if it strayed away from the gang.

This scene means something to me. I would want to be part of the team, contributing in the team, supporting and helping each other. Learning to adapt to others' weaknesses and learn to take the lead. I don't want to see myself or others' stray away and end up in nowhere. 

V formation

V day

You're God's gift to me.

Appreciate every time spent together,

heart-to-heart talks we had.

Thank you for always being there for me,

listening to my frustrations, fears, worries, stories.

Always ready to encourage me.

Am really blessed to have you in my life, M

Happy Valentine's Day

Sometimes I don't even know do I like that person. perhaps you too?

If you have an uncomfortable or awkward or askgmk feeling when that person goes after another one or moves into an relationship. It means you've got something towards him/her.

Find it kind of true

Let it past.

Because I care

No Expectations. No Dissapointments.

Sometimes people don't notice the things we do for them until we stop doing for them.

I wish they would appreciate every little thing I did for them.

You start to get hurt the moment you begin to care.

..........

These are what I've heard.

It's true, I believe.

I've been giving a lot I guess.

Indeed, I find it a joy to give, to help others, to care for others.

You do a lot of thinking, and that's what that kills you

We all carry these things inside that no one else can see. 

They hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea.

I’m so tired.

But not the kind of tired sleep fixes.

I’m just tired.

I’m worn. 

Expectations are the root to all heartaches.

You start to get hurt the moment you begin to care

You do a lot of thinking 

and it's what kills you

wish

I'm sorry

mixed

Ever when through a season when you don't what where are you? I've asking myself this question frequently recently. I felt kind of, I lost myself? The feeling of insecure, the feeling of where are the people I can depend on?, the feeling of #foreveralone, the feeling of not knowing where is my direction.

I've been feeling mixed up. I don't know how worth it I am. I always need people to assure me. I always wanted someone who I can just call up in the middle of the night where I can't sleep, or someone who is a call away when I need to talk, and a shoulder to lean on when I need. 

Yes, definitely I know God is always there, where I can always depend and turn to Him in times of troubles. The unconditional love, unfailing love. 

Have been reflecting on myself these few days. I don't know how to put myself into words. I need to search back for the JOEY LEE. The one that I'm familiar and comfortable with. 

Realize I'm confused with what I want. Am I an entrusted person? Am I good enough? Am I the one that I 

should be.

I don't know. I just need time. I just need the him or the her to talk to. I need Him!! 

In order to have an awesome 2012, I must be strong.