Cried.

I think this semester is the semester where I cried the most. (Ever since I became a uni student, I use semester than year). For those small little petite things, for things that I care and treasure, for things that I feel that I cannot take it anymore. I cry.

I tend to get pretty emotional and agitated overthings. I have no idea why and since when I am like this. I can get upset easilywhich I am not aware about it until people around pat and remind me.

I know I cannot be reacting this way. Due to my health, I need to be calm, steady and happy. But I just can't be feeling like that all the time, as if I do not have emotions and I cannot afford to be angry. When people do something that agitates me, am I suppose to return with a smile? Gah!

Well, for whatever is it. I just know I cannot be stress, angry and emotional. I need to be a pro in controlling my emotions. I guess all I could do is, in every circumstances, tell myself 'it's okay!' and carry on. (I'm trying to say this without being sarcastic)

Life. My life. 

Sunsets

I was diligently backup-ing  the photos in my phone to the computer, as my phone was rather laggy already, plus I am just too paranoid that what if anything happens and I did not back up my photos?! iPhone doesn't has a memory card as external storage. I spent hours of sorting out pictures into different folders. I admit I was slow as I need to decide on which picture goes into which folder (selfie folder, event folder or random folder), also I did take time to look back what had happened for the past one year. This sound like its in December 2015 already (it will soon).

While transferring photos, I realize I have a number of sunset pictures, as studying in Sabah the most often thing to do is to go and watch the sunset. I go watch when you have friends or family from Penisular that comes over, I go watch when you go for a one day outing with friends,  I go watch when I need a break from the hustle and bustle of life.

So here it is, so collection of my sunst photos. I've deleted some though.

It's been two years, and I have two more years to go. I can't believe that people around me are graduating next year. And next year at this day, I have to be prepared for a different university life.

sorry for the tears shed

It feels like writing a traveller's diary. How it feels to be away from home, to be far away from the family that is so dear to me, friends that I can count on and place that I am familiar with. I know it has been almost 2 years studying away from home (going back every half a year though), but it does not mean that I am immune to that.

Yesterday as I was scrolling through Instagram, saw a dear friend wrote this: 'I rly am horrible at letting ppl go...'. I feel I can relate to it. I have been  easily attached to people around, people that have deeply impacted my life, people that are precious in my life. I admit I have the fear of people leaving or perhaps me leaving them.

Same goes to my family. As I was planning with my siblings on what to do and where to go on Mother's Day, I was struck as there's so little I can do. I can't be physically there with my mum. I teared. I admit that I have been really bust to even post a card back, or buy something online for my mum, but I just feel that nothing beats being by her side.

As I called my mum yesterday, after wishing her, I cried, I could not hold back any more. I can feel that she too is very sad and close to tears at the other side of the phone. How I wish I can be back there to celebrate Mothers' Day with her, celebrate her birthday with her and also other occasions with the family. There is just so much that I wish to, only if I am with them...physically. 

I don't mind being labelled as one that misses home, reliable and dependent. I don't feel the need to hide my feeling of missing home. I just can't wait to go back home to celebrate each occasion with them.

Just to say, another person will be leaving my life in a month's time. Ain't easy.

it's been a long time

It's been a long time, real long time since I've pen down my thoughts. I have been reading other people's blog and also pop by mine once in a while to recall what have happened in the past. Putting down my thoughts here has always helped me to move forward and after some time I look back at my post, I'll realise how much I've grown and how much grace and mercy given to me in my life.

Today is a rather free day for me. It has been pretty busy and hectic for the past few weeks, especially the past one week that I seldom am at home besides the night time. Being out from home for more than 15 hours is a norm. 

This morning, I woke up rather early, about 9 ish. Then I start to get things moving so not to waste time. I've learnt to become as productive as I can. To not waste time and laze around. Always list down the things to do, even the tiny weensy things so that I will not forget or miss a thing. (I tend to be forgetful recently)

Loving to spend some alone time where I can do things I want, sit down, not talking to anybody, not needing to reply anyone. The time alone is somehow refreshing, for me at least. Then I get very happy to have a day all to myself.

I'll try my best to update whenever I can, to pen down the thoughts running in my head.

Appreciate Life

I had been reading through various blogs recently, of friends' and blogger's. This definitely has inspired me to revive my blog once again which I had left it growing mushrooms since the last post.

One thing that dawn on me is that  there are many things that are worth in life, its whether we take time to appreciate it and reflect on it.

Day after day, time flies and we just pass month after month without realising that we have not stop and slow down and think about life.

Everyday, there must be something for us to be thankful for. We are in a society that we often take things for granted. Even when we are served with a smile by the waiter/waitress, we feel that it should be their role to do so.

I've been learning to slow down and to appreciate things in life. Do not take things for granted. 

Our life is colourful as long as we want it to be, hence appreciate it so that we leave no regrets.