Parking lot

I left without thinking much, left me felt like I was being bullied.

One morning upon arriving at my usual parking spot a work, I saw that there was a cone with a company’s name there. I was confused as I usually park there. So, I went off the car and remove the cone and parked my car. 

Then a man came to me and say that this should be their company’s spot as they had a permit for the spot, now they need it back etc. My first thought was that I do not want to have any conflict and try to argue, so I apologized and said I did not know since I parked here for more than a year. Trying to not defend myself or explain myself, I just went to park at a lot where I have to pay.

Stupid.

Why did I even leave to re-park my car? I should have asked him to check with my company and not give in so easily?

Why was I so afraid of conflict?

Why did I not stay a little longer?

Why did I explain or negotiate?

I was so troubled throughout the entire day. I was not only troubled by how I reacted to the situation, but how to deal with it the next day as well. Am I suppose to park at my spot again? What if the man were to come to me? What should I say? Should I stand up for myself?

This left me reflecting about myself.

I have always been nonchalant over many things, especially towards people.

Telling myself, it’s okay.

Don’t be so sensitive. 

Just do more, it is fine.

Don’t have to be defensive

Avoid conflict.

Avoid argument.

This left me doubting myself and am thinking whether what I think was okay is actually not okay?

Am I suppose to be stronger and learn to speak out?

It is definitely an incident that have led me reflecting about my character. 

Not leading me to self-doubt, but how the Lord wants to shape me through this.

I know that He can shape me, but am I willing to be shaped as I know it will take a lot of me and it is painful.

 idk

I shall sit on this and reflect.